Something Is Happening In My Brain.

So. There's this guy. Let's name him...Boy. Because, well, he's a guy. 

So, Boy. He's cute. And by cute, I mean he's freaking hot. In a goofy sort of way. He's the guy I told you about previously, the Orchadork. The one Prancer claimed I had a crush on and I protested on the terms that a girl can be friends with a guy who she thinks is attractive but not have a crush on him but then I admitted that I might have a teensy crush on. Yeah. Him.

I do have a crush on him. 

I realized this as I was sitting in one of the really comfy chairs outside of my Music in Film class, which Boy is also in, and the class was going to start soon, so everyone was starting to file in. I had to pack up my book (I hadn't quite finished my reading for History) and iPod and whatnot, so I was being slow. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Boy coming down the hall, and he was about to walk into the class room, when he stopped. he hung awkwardly off the door for a good minute as I packed up my stuff, and held the door open for me. It made me smile. 

We sit across from each other in the class, so not looking at him is impossible. Every time I look at him, if he happens to be looking at me, he'll do something to make me laugh. He's a goofy sort of guy. It's nice, because every other guy I know tries to put on this tough guy front. Even Prancer. It's nice knowing a guy who's not afraid to act dumb. It's quite endearing. 

We were watching "Casablanca" in Music in Film. It is now my favorite movie. There's so many iconic quotes from that film that have slipped into mainstream culture, and it was great hearing them in their original context. And it doesn't hurt that Boy has been setting some of them as his Facebook statuses for the past few days...

It's weird feeling this way about a guy. I've had crushes on guys, sure, but I always at some point want to smack them. And I never seem to be able to actually talk to them. Yeah, I'll chat, but not seriously talk. 

There was one guy, let's name him....actually, let's not name him. Because the second I name him, I'll describe him. And once I describe him, he'll start reading this, and know exactly what I'm talking about. Actually, he knows I had a crush on him, and we discussed it. So, let's call him...Grumpy. Because he's a grouch. And I've mentioned him in passing before. As part of a musical venture he's part of with his brothers. Yeah. That guy. We had a serious discussion, about what sort of person he was (A very jaded, and somewhat annoying person. That's okay Grumpy, I still like you.), and why I had a crush on him. And while I was feeling happy and bubbly for a while, he went and got a girlfriend. So that's why I'm slightly apprehensive about discussing things other than music and trivialities with guys I have a crush on. But I'm not bashing Grumpy in any way, shape, or form. I still consider him one of my closest friends. Well, not closest. But definitely someone I can easily talk to. I think the only reason he could hurt me was because he knew me well, and knew how I felt. So My fingers and toes are crossed that Boy isn't reading this. Because if he is, it's gonna be a long and awkward semester. 

I have to go now. Ninja forgot her I.D. again and can't swipe past the lock on our hallway, so I have to torment her through the little window and eventually let her in. 'Cause I'm a terrible person like that. And this post is getting way too long. 

Heart, me.