All The Things I'm Too Scared To Say To Your Face.

Dear Boy, 

I wish we could be friends. I really do. You're a great guy. But this whole not-telling-me-key-facts-about-yourself won't fly. You make me laugh, and I promise, that's not an easy task. You made me genuinely happy the first few months I knew you. But now, every time I see you, I'm overly stressed, slightly neurotic, and just generally depressed. I'm at a point right now where I'm impatiently waiting for the semester to be over, when we both start our major-specific coursework, and the only time I have to see you is that awkward moment when you're waiting for an elevator and I decided to sprint down the stairs. 

I wish it were different. I wish you had told me this sort of incredibly important detail when I first met you. Now I feel dumb and awkward. We have this tense, pseudo-friendship deal going on, and it doesn't make me happy at all. It's actually pretty depressing. There are times when I just want to march over to your room and demand to know what the deal is. We're in college now. And neither of us needs to take First OR Second Year English Comp, so I think we should have left all the implying and inferring in our equally rigorous high school AP English classes.

I just need to know what your deal is. Why are you a sweet, funny, and generally perfect guy in class, but a tense, judgmental jerk everywhere else? Which of those personalities is just a front?

I feel like I need to apologize for how I've acted, but to be fair, you were encouraging me the majority of the way. So, I'm sorry. 

I know you're not going to read this, but I'm putting it out there on the off chance that your Logic homework is driving you insane to the point of perusing random blogs. 

See you tomorrow. I'm glad we're watching a movie in class. I don't think I can face you at this point. 

Me. 

Dear Prancer, 

I miss you. We need to Skype soon. I need your brain again.

Heart, me.